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Plot: After being set-up and betrayed by the man who hired him to assassinate a Texas Senator, an ex-Federale launches a brutal rampage of revenge against his former boss. Runtime: 105 mins Release Date: 03 Sep 2010
Mexploitation and Entertainment at Its Best (by kac-12)
MACHETE, a Robert Rodriguez film, starring Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Jeff Fahey, Robert DeNiro, Steven Seagal, Lindsay Lohan, Tom Savini, Cheech Marin, and Don Johnson . Soak that in for a moment. The story for Machete, as outlandish as it is, goes something like this: He looked like just another day laborer from the hood, and the perfect scapegoat for a corrupt political assassination. But he turned out to be MACHETE, a legendary ex-Federale with a deadly attitude and the skills to match. Left for dead after attempting to go against the notorious Mexican drug kingpin <more>
Torrez, Steven Seagal, Machete has escaped to Texas. But what he finds is a web of corruption and betrayal that leaves a bullet in a senator, Robert DeNiro, and Machete a wanted man. Machete sets out to clear his name and expose this conspiracy, but he does it . The MACHETE way. What ensues is a wildly creative tale of carnage, vengeance, and a Mexican Revolution. You might have been familiar with this film since 2007, since a fake trailer for Machete was shown in the ambitious double feature event Grindhouse that is now regarded as legendary trailer . Well, now you have your entire film version. Danny Trejo is finally getting his due here. Always the most bad-ass in his film appearances, he's never had much of a leading role, except for now. He is fantastic as Machete, and at the current age of 66, the action he does is pretty phenomenal. Machete is the type of character that always gets the one-up on the bad guys and the love of the ladies, and you can just sense that Trejo is loving every moment of it. Luckily, so are we. Machete is a film chock-full of truly schmaltzy performances from every member of the cast. The big difference here is that the schmaltz is intentional. The villains of this movie are so appropriately evil and murderous, with a samurai sword wielding Steven Seagal, in his first villainous role, simply stealing the show as Torrez. Yes, I just said that Steven Seagal stole the show over a hilarious politically incorrect politician Robert DeNiro, a sleazy rogue businessman Jeff Fahey, and a sinister Mexican shooting Don Johnson. You really want to see these foes get what they deserve. Bonus points if you spot Quentin Tarantino in a blink and you miss it cameo! With these villains, and their humorous henchmen, Machete also has his own connections and compadres. Jessica Alba is, believe it or not, the main love interest to Machete and some of her deliveries are so cringe-inducing, it's squirm-worthy. Yet, she's alright! There's also Michelle Rodriguez as Luz, a rather attractive taco truck lady who may have a secret identity as a Mexican patriot who plays it just fine. But it's Padre, Machete's brother, played by Cheech Marin, whose sequences in the film are some of the very best. He's hysterical and can handle dual shotguns like nobody else. And yes, Lindsay Lohan is in this and she's not half-bad for the little things she has to do. When she's not nude, she's dressed up as a pretty nifty revolver packing nun, but she doesn't pack that much of a punch. Machete is a film that embodies all of the facets a 1970s blaxploitation film would have, but with the Hispanic culture. This is Mexploitation, with a resonant grindhouse feeling, complete with film reel scratches and fake political ads. But the violence and action in this is so extraordinary and unapologetically gruesome, with the extremity of it all not being taken seriously at all. The things they do in this film, guaranteed you haven't seen most of them ever done before. Corkscrews, high-heels, weed-whackers, and, of course, machetes, are only a very small listing of all the tools and weapons used to dispatch characters in Machete. It's over the top, absolutely ridiculous scenes that pop up every five minutes and make for a joyous film experience. There are too many be-headings, blood-splattering gunshots, and limb removals to count . Don't even get me started on the stabbings. To add the cherry on top, Machete is shot perfectly, fluidly, and inventively. Machete is completely, for lack of a better term, over the top, has a fitting heavy and groovy soundtrack, and never holds back on the gore. The dialogue is hokey and full of Mexican puns, but it knows this. Machete loves to poke fun at itself and its ridiculous concepts, with characters questioning certain events in the movie, realizations that everything is insane, and an awesome B-movie touch that graces the opening of the end credits. Machete is Robert Rodriguez's most enjoyable and best film to date. It's so fun, so amazing, and actually provides a sort of a social political message, now with racial profiling and immigration being a controversial Americana topic. It's why Machete is such a great film for the times, and will be looked upon as one of the culturally relevant films of the last couple years I'm as shocked as you are. Machete is the best action film of 2010 and is certainly one of the best of the year. It's fantastic entertainment that I oh so highly recommend you watch. Machete es...... Yes, excelente.
Machete is one of those films that you know what to expect before you go in. It is understood that this is an exploitation flick, which will have excessive violence, sex and nudity. What pleased me most about this film, that as well as that which should be minimal expectation before going in , it has a well told cohesive story and some real power house acting. I am a big fan of Rodriguez's earlier film, 'Desperado,' and Machete is similar to that; except where Desperado took itself seriously, this film has its tongue firmly in cheek and from this you get a lot of the humour - and <more>
it works. From start, all the way through to the finish, there is something happening that keeps you glued to the screen. Perfect to watch in a group, especially if some of them have a low attention span. Limits have been pushed and I love it. It is not excessive violence for random excessive violence sake; it's been thought about and works extremely well in regard to the story and tone of the film. I would describe 'Planet Terror' as a practice for what Rodriguez wanted that didn't quite deliver and Machete as the masterpiece - that delivers on all cylinders. I cannot recommend this film enough as a riotous laugh out loud, violent and engaging experience.
Machete ends the summer blockbusters with a BANG! (by Roadwarrior85846)
Hands down, Machete is one exciting ride! Robert Rodriguez fans won't be disappointed. The acting was great, setting the mood of the film. The effects and action scenes were over-the-top awesome! To be honest, this film felt that this has more testosterone than recent action movie, The Expendables, which I believe nobody have seen that coming!Danny Trejo plays Machete. Worked as a fed in Mexico few years ago. But in the present time, he's an illegal alien tryng to make a living in Texas doing several jobs here and there. Until one day, a millionaire name Booth Jeff Fahey gives him a <more>
reward of $150,000 to assassinate the Senator of Texas Robert De Niro . When Machete had the chance to take Senator McLaughlin down, he had been double-crossed. Thats when things get wild!In conclusion, it is one very entertaining film. Sure, there are a few dull/cheesy scenes like Alba's "Border crossed us!" quote and Lindsay Lohan playing as herself but easily forgiven because the majority of this flick is constant action and comedy! Machete is a must-see film to conclude the summer blockbusters of 2010.
Corny, Violent, Cheap, And AWESOME! (by Pulp_Usual_Fiction_Suspect)
I caught a screening of this film not too long ago, and all I have to say is that it was an adrenaline rush! The violence was overwhelming, and the writing was cornily witty. Pretty good performances all around from Alba, Trejo, DeNiro, Seagal, Lohan and many a more. Great entertainment, perfect to sit down with some buddies on a Saturday night and have a good laugh.No doubt in my mind this will do well in the box office, and well, not so well with the critics. But forget what the critics say this is a great flick, and a damn fun one too!Plot: After being betrayed by the organization who <more>
hired him, an ex-Federale launches a brutal rampage of revenge against his former boss.usualfilmfan
It killed my inner feminist. EPIC (by copperncherrio)
I could possibly go butch lesbian after watching this film. SERIOUSLY. Machete is a man's film, everything from every did wrong, got wrong done to, revenge movie. It's awesome and just the right amount of corny that you know was intentional.EPIC.Also Lindsay Lohan is in it to my surprise. I knew about Don Johnson aka Nash Bridges , Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, and Robert De Niro. But you get to see Lindsay topless with her face in the same frame so you know it's not a body double.It was everything I wanted. I think I just killed my inner feminist, because this movie is <more>
the reason why I would ever want to be a guy. Because guy movies are far better than chick flicks.All the chicks are super hot, but not helpless It's funny with enough seriousness to kick buttness Also I noticed that Daryl Sabara is in it ALSO known as the brother in the Spy Kids film series, which sucked Ironically Cheech was in that as well. Daryl plays a adopted Mexican, a white kid fighting for the rights of his fellow Mexicans.It's what every action pure entertaining film should be: AWESOME.Lastly:Jessica Alba's character:"Why didn't you text me?"Machete Danny :"Machete don't text" I know what you mean my dear friendAlso I never thought Michelle Rodriguez was ever that hot in all the other movies she's been in BUT DAMN an eye patch and minimal leather makes her the ultimate hottie. SERIOUSLY. Dare I say it she was hotter than Jessica Alba in the movie But only in this movie. ahem.
Lowly dog! Bow your head! Kneel and worship at the wonder that is Machete! (by jcdugger)
I must say, one of my most enjoyable times ever watching a movie was when I seen "Machete"! To enhance the experience, to give it a more 80's feel, my girlfriend and I actually found a drive-in theater to see it in...Talk about fun! We had beer, smoke, snacks, and a tub of the most buttery popcorn you've ever tasted! With the hilarious antics on the screen, it was truly a great time. Many kudos Mr. Rodriguez!Machete had it all -- action, comedy, a grindhouse look and feel, crime, drugs and violence...What else could you ask for?! Oh, how about great actors and actresses such <more>
as Robert DeNiro, Steven Seagal and Jessica Alba...and a naked Lindsay Lohan?! Yes, a naked Lindsay Lohan!!! I just love that girl, lol! It simply had the perfect mix for a great summer movie.Machete also gives nods to past great Robert Rodriguez / Quentin Tarantino films. I noticed references to "From Dusk Till Dawn", "Planet Terror", "Kill Bill Vol 1 & 2" and "Death Proof". Can't wait for the DVD so I can catch them all! Much to my satisfaction, "The Crazy Babysitter Twins" Electra Avellan and Elise Avellan from "Planet Terror" also had roles. If you aren't aware of them, they are easily two of the hottest girls on the planet!...And they shoot machine guns while wearing sexy nurse outfits! See, I told you Machete had it all! : There were some great individual performances as well. To me, Cheech Marin's character was just hilarious. I would love to spill the scene of Cheech and Lindsay Lohan, which had me laughing for about 15 minutes alone! Steven Seagal was also terrific - he had a spectacular one-liner that you shouldn't miss. Robert DeNiro was very funny as well. Jeff Fahey was super cool. And you can't say enough about the 66-year-old Danny Trejo...I'd be happy to look anywhere close to him at 36! Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez helped carry the story, they were tremendous. Great, great acting. I can't say enough of how much fun this movie is, see it! Thanks for reading everyone! JD
This film is what it says it is. Nothing less. And perhaps a little more. Most of Machete's critics that have given overall negative reviews, have fallen into a trap of their own devices. Machete is an exploitation film and was advertised as such. By definition, and exploitation film will include excessive violence, gore, nudity, and be high on intentional corny lines while low on plot devices and character development. To give low ratings to Machete because of one's distaste for the genre, would be like saying "The Shinning was awful because I don't like horror." This <more>
is one of Rodriguez best films to date, side by side with Sin City 2005 . Machete delivers on all accounts of action, gore, nudity, and corny lines. The plot is simple, but honestly, that's how it should be. The thing that sets this apart from other exploitation films is that the acting is top notch. I personally found that the three main female characters to be the most intriguing and diverse.Jessica Alba plays the part of an ICE agent struggling with her loyalty to her nation and her people. She slowly begins to question her own logic on if people should follow law simply because they are laws. We see this struggle immediately, when she approaches a taco stand apparently once every week to by a coffee and lunch, despite her own people feeling from her site. Why does she continue this ritual? She says it is to check the papers of the character Luz, but really it is to try and hold onto a sliver of identity among her people. Michelle Rodriguez plays said Luz aka She as an underground leader of illegal immigration. The character of Luz is a simple woman who believes in not bending to the broken system, but fighting for her people the mirror image of Alba . "She" is only a myth on which Luz has built a cult following, understanding that sometimes being a myth can do more damage than flesh and blood. By the end of the film, Luz is reborn as the mythical She, just in time for the bloody battle.Finally, the actress that surprised me the most was Lindsay Lohan. Despite only receiving 10-15 minutes of screen time most are which she is undressed , she plays her character perfectly and flawlessly. The role seems to be written specifically for her and I applaud her for stepping up and taking on such a mature role. One of her first scenes is a tongue-in-cheek conversation about how she needs to give the people of the internet what they want, and that is more of her. Lohan played the part beautifully in all aspects and specks of talent are clearly visible. I hope that filmmakers and audiences as well as herself continue to allow her opportunities to showcase that talent. Machete is an exploitation film at its finest. And, for the most part, if you are the type of cinema attendee who wants to see a movie called Machete in the first place, chances are you will be thoroughly entertained.
Why is this not billed as a comedy? (by mike-3842)
When I saw the trailer for this film I thought it had to be trash but I laughed almost from the beginning to the end. Tongue in cheek humour - it's all intentional, there is nothing unfunny about Machete.I was ready for a lot of gore but it was all done in such a hilarious way that I hardly noticed how disgusting it was. I fact, I was still laughing 5 minutes after I left the cinema.If he wasn't already so old I would say Danny Trejo was an undiscovered talent set for a meteoric rise, but the guy is already 64. I never could have guessed as the adrenaline and action pumped <more>
incessantly.... and hysterically this weather-beaten old dude also managed effortlessly to bed any chiquita he came across, and in style too.Machete kills and maims and has sex all the way through the movie, but amazingly he is also a gentleman. you have to love him.The best movie I have seen this year and the best movie of this genre for some time. Top marks for not taking itself one bit seriously but knowing exactly how to entertain!
"Machete" Is Not For Everyone, But It's Was Fun To Me (by D_Burke)
As I was in the theater watching "Machete", I could not help but see certain scenes and keep a list in my head of people who would hate this movie. When Machete Danny Trejo takes out the knife whose nickname he bears and cuts people's heads off, "people who hate violence in movie" made my list. When Sartana Jessica Alba takes a shower and leans against the wall in a way that millions of men probably fantasized about, "most, if not all, women" found its way onto my list. When Padre the Roman-Catholic priest Cheech Marin says "God has mercy. I <more>
don't." to a guy before blowing his brains out with a rifle, I couldn't help but mentally pencil in two other groups of people: Catholics, and people who hadn't seen "Grindhouse" 2007 when it came out in theaters three years ago.Well, I love violent action films, I think Jessica Alba is gorgeous, I am Catholic but am not easily offended, and I was one of a surprising few who saw the aforementioned ambitious tribute to B-movies of the 70's and 80's. Therefore, I enjoyed "Machete" a lot, but I imagine others would have to take it with a grain of salt."Machete", based on a fake trailer made exclusively for "Grindhouse" that director Robert Rodriguez decided to expand into a feature-length film, is not meant to be taken seriously. If anything, it's a clever film with a lot of great action sequences, intriguing characters, many interesting subplots, and a good story at its base. For starters, it also has an impressive roster of talented actors in it. There is an interesting mix of the usual Rodriguez players Danny Trejo, Cheech Marin, Jeff Fahey , really good actors Robert De Niro , notoriously bad actors Steven Seagal, Don Johnson , and talented players that have made some bad film choices over the last few years Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan . The funny thing is that, good or bad, most of these actors seem perfect fits for this movie, and work well off each other.Trejo may have been an action star if he came to fame in 1970's cinema. Nowadays, it's not unusual to see good looking celebrities like Tom Cruise and Ryan Reynolds headline action films. Thankfully, Rodriguez, like Quentin Tarantino who co-produced this film, but for some reason, remained uncredited saw something in this 66-year-old ex-convict, because Trejo makes a great lead for an action film. Just one look at him, and you may want to start running. He's rugged, doesn't take any crap from anyone, and it is what action stars should be. It's just too bad the villains in this movie are not aware of that fact, and there are many villains.There's Torrez Steven Seagal , a drug kingpin who betrayed Machete while he was a Federale in Mexico. There's Booth Jeff Fahey who hires Machete to assassinate a Republican senator De Niro who's staunchly against illegal immigration. There's also a corrupt border patrolman Don Johnson who kills illegal immigrants with no mercy. Although Jessica Alba plays an INS agent, you really can't stay mad at her for long.Although "Death Proof" and "Planet Terror" found a separate following on DVD, "Grindhouse", which combined the two films along with fake previews, did not do well at the box office despite rave reviews. So the timing may have been bad for "Machete" had it not been for the controversial Arizona immigration law that coincidentally coincided with this film's release. Whether or not this movie can be seen as a Hispanic-American revenge fantasy is not up to me to decide, although Michelle Rodriguez's turn as Luz, who is suspected of aiding illegal immigrants, raises some interesting questions. The film does seem to forget that it's a parody of exploitation films of years past at times, but never ceases from being fun. Just as Rodriguez brought "Machete" from a coming attraction to a feature film, I hope Rob Zombie does the same for his "Werewolf Women of the SS" preview.